5 TV Couples Who Don’t Belong Together
We all know the drill. Your favorite TV show has a devastatingly attractive male lead and a smoking hot female lead. Under any other circumstances they would be dancing the bad boogie, but show dynamics conspire to keep them apart. Episodes roll by with lingering stares and half-confessed professions of love piling up, and slowly the audience begins to wilt under the weight of all that sexual tension.
A handful of seasons in (and maybe a parallel dimension and a doppelganger or two later) The Kiss finally happens and our dynamic duo suddenly find themselves standing on the outskirts of Relationsville. But should they head on into town? It’s what we were all waiting for, right? Not always. Some TV relationships really are better left unexplored. Here’s our top five picks.
1. Nathan and Audrey (Haven)
Nathan may have enough feeling in those unfortunate fingers of his to tell the difference between a real Audrey and a fake one, but it doesn’t mean the two leads of Haven should hook up any time soon. Why? Because as cute as Nathan and Audrey are together, there’s an elephant in the room in the form of Duke Crocker who exudes so much sexual charisma we’d pair him with the furniture if Audrey wasn’t there.
This season sees Eric Balfour’s Duke getting a love interest of his own, in the form of an ex-wife played by Vinessa Antoine, but it’s just not enough to erase all those delicious flirtatious Audrey moments from the first season. If Audrey settles for Nathan, she’ll spend the rest of her life wondering about what could have been.
2. Peter and Olivia (Fringe)
This is another case of boy meets girl. Girl is too distrusting of the world to admit burgeoning feelings to boy. Girl’s sexier, funnier, smarter alter-ego from a parallel universe steals boy from under girl’s nose, then rubs girl’s nose in it by becoming pregnant with boy’s baby. Boy is outwardly horrified, but continues to secretly hold a torch for parallel universe girl.
As much as we all love Fringe’s Olivia, there’s something about her bad ass arch-nemesis Fauxlivia that steals the show, and the boy, every time.
3. Pete and Myka (Warehouse 13)
The problem with Pete and Myka is that Pete is a 10 year old boy in the body of a grown man, making the possibility of a relationship an unlikely leap for his character. Even Joanne Kelly, who plays Myka seems to agree.
In a recent interview with TV Guide, the actress said “I don’t think you’ll be seeing any huge relationship arcs unless the dynamic of our show changes drastically.”
Eddie McClintock (Pete) put in his own two cents by adding “Pete and Myka are not together because they don’t want to be. “It would be like kissing your sister.”
Pete is probably much too busy eating cake and making boobie jokes for all that grownup stuff anyway. And besides, don’t girls have cooties?
4. Doctor Anne Glass and Tom Mason (Falling Skies)
When Tom took Anne in his arms and gave her beard-rash in the season finale of TNT’s Falling Skies, the watching audience shared a massive collective WTF? moment. Tom and Anne have been close all season long, but in the blandest, most platonic brotherly/sisterly manner possible, which made the kiss all the more extraordinary. It reminded me of that one time I walked into a room and accidentally interrupted my grandparents making out. Don’t get me wrong. Moon Bloodgood and Noah Wyle are both fabulously gorgeous, but the problem is their characters share no sparkle. There is about as much chemistry here as you would find in one of Tom’s History exams.
5. Amy and Rory (Doctor Who)
The problem with Amy and Rory is there is too much chemistry. But sadly it’s all between Amy and the Doctor. When Matt Smith’s eleventh Doctor burst onto our screens at the end of 2010, he and new companion Amy Pond (Karen Gillan) lit up the screen like it was made of tinder wood. So great was their magnetism that the show’s writers had to throw in boyfriend Rory, then husband Rory, then baby Melody in an attempt to dilute it. We’re not buying it though. Rory may well be the boy who waited, but Time Lords live forever.
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