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On Absolutely Every Episode of The Blacklist Ever

By on November 12, 2013

Pictured: (l-r) Megan Boone as Elizabeth Keen, Diego Klattenhoff as Donald Ressler -- (Photo by: Will Hart/NBC)

Are you watching NBC’s new hit show The Blacklist on Monday nights?

Apologetically procedural, the show stars James Spader as Red Reddington, a reformed criminal mastermind, now working with rookie agent Liz Keane (Megan Boone) to find and neutralize (or sometimes just horribly murder) the world’s most dangerous terrorists.

What does Red see in Keane? Is he really her father? What will Liz uncover about her seemingly benign husband Tom? Will Ressler ever crack a smile? What about Red’s expenses list? Yeah, we noticed these things too. And while we’re at it, isn’t it funny how just about every episode features all of the following?

1. Red will inform the guys at the FBI about a new threat from possibly the world’s most dangerous terrorist that no one has ever heard of before.

2. Despite the previous episode, and all the episodes before that, no one will take the threat seriously, except for Liz, who will take it seriously but for all the wrong reasons. (Liz wants ANSWERS dammit.)

2. Ressler will end up ugly-fighting on a rooftop, a ledge, an elevator or from some other precarious position. He’ll win, but barely, and will remain cranky for the remainder of the episode.

3. Despite providing all the clues to the latest case, making her look great in front of her co-workers, cutting the crusts off her sandwiches, tucking her in at night and reading her a bedtime story, Liz will at some point angrily demand ANSWERS from Red. Red will in turn enigmatically allude to something along the lines of “Brothers and sisters I have none, but it sure looks like your father is my father’s son.”  This will prompt Liz to angrily declare “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I need ANSWERS.”

4. Tom will encourage Liz to tell him how her day went, including a request for all the minute details on her latest case, the location of the secret Black Site, photocopies of all her case files and a copy of her fingerprints. Because he’s that sort of caring guy, you know? Liz will in turn ask Tom to pass the wine, a clear signal that EVERYTHING in their marriage is a sham.

5. Red will spend a lot of money on something frivolous just to prove he’s the concierge of canapes, creased pants and cucumber sandwiches. As well as crime.

The Blacklist airs Monday nights at 10 p.m. ET/PT on NBC.

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