TV REVIEW: Tick Tock Goes the Revegenda Clock

It’s not often that fan favorite Nolan Ross (Gabriel Mann) is out-quipped by another character on ABC’s Revenge, but this week surely belonged to Roger Bart’s Mason Treadwell who brought a dollop of fun to an otherwise plot-heavy instalment in which Emily and Adien took a trip to “Jolly Old” to uncover the truth about Aiden’s Dad (and get blinded by chintz) while Victoria and Margaux managed to wriggle out from under the thumb of their respective oppressors, and Charlotte inadvertently brought all the pieces on the revenge chessboard one step closer to checkmate.

We haven’t seen Treadwell since he was Red Sharpied by Emily some time ago. Fans may remember how Mason, ever the reporter with a nose for a good story, uncovered the truth about FauxAmanda and was strong-armed by Emily into taking the fall for some nefarious acts he didn’t commit (hey, welcome to the Hamptons, Mason. We get that a lot here.) And the only thing stopping Mason from blabbing the truth about the real Emily Thorne, behind bars? A golden shot at writing her autobiography of revenge once her double dealings with the Graysons were finally signed, sealed and delivered.

Anyone else think Mason was being a little naive in holding out on this promise? Only a couple of weeks previously, Emily was planning on absconding with gorgeous Aiden for parts unknown under an assumed identity. (I just hope it’s not Britain. I understand it’s rainy, everyone’s depressed, it’s covered in chintz and nobody opens their curtains there.) We got the feeling a tell all book deal might well have been the furthest thing from her mind.

(ABC/Richard Cartwright)
ROGER BART, MADELEINE STOWE

Well it appears Mason might have come to that conclusion too, based on news reports of Ems’ shooting, divorce and baby scandal. And when Victoria, bent on a little revenge mission of her own (we totally approve of this move, writers) offered Mason some leverage in the form of his potential freedom in return for the dirt on Emily and her interest in flight 197, he seized his opportunity at freedom with both hands and used Vicky’s interest as leverage of his own.

Asking Emily Thorne for a favor is clearly somewhat of a double-edged sword. Mason got just what he wanted. Emily granted him his freedom by ensuring he left prison in a body bag, courtesy of strong poison in a jar of … skin cream? Shaving cream …? Mayonnaise? I try not to judge. I hear prison can do things to a man.

I’ll admit to suffering a a “How could you, writers?!?” moment over Treadwell’s horrible spittle-filled demise. Mason has been one of the more memorable guest characters on the show to date, and his stories have always served to liven up proceedings. However the death proved a fake out, with Mason waking up in a body bag, only to be greeted by Nolan and the paperwork necessary to set him up nicely in a remote corner under a new name.

Emily gives everyone a new name on this show. Everyone.

Meanwhile, Ems and Aiden hit London town, or Swindon or Croyden or some other unidentified place in England, but we  know it’s England because of all the floral tea cups, floral wallpaper, floral curtains and matching floral candlesticks, which Mummy Mathis sits up all night polishing. Do we really need to ask why Aiden left home at 16?

Our on-again-off-again-revenge-buddies-with-benefits are there to uncover the identity of one Oscar Chapman and his relationship to Pascal LeMarshal. Apart from discovering that Chapman was a reporter who may have faked his death in a horrible car crash, our pair leave with more questions than answers. Aiden helpfully tells his grieving bewildered china-polishing mother that his sister is dead and his Dad may have been innocent after all. Mrs Mathis takes the news surprisingly well. By the time Aiden and Ems are leaving, she is polishing the walls.

(ABC/Richard Cartwright)
BARRY SLOANE, CLAIRE JACOBS, EMILY VANCAMP

Meanwhile back in the US of A, Victoria runs Stevie out of town with a bottle of tequila and the shocking news that Mason Treadwell, the man she went to visit in prison at Emily’s behest, is now dead and it’s probably all her fault for meddling. Despite Stevie’s long years of abstinence, her steely reserve and best intentions, the news breaks her. Being part of Emily’s revegenda isn’t for the faint of heart. Or those who like to drink. Or anyone really. We’ll miss you Stevie. You may have been a drunk, but I marvelled at how you managed to slice all those limes with such precision.

Meanwhile, Margaux who has been practically steaming with frustration these last couple of episodes, finally confronted her father about just who should be running Voulez. Hint! The successful candidate should have a pixie hair cut, wear statement jewellery and cute knee-length dresses!

Perhaps it was Daniel’s word of mouth approval (it’s the first time in weeks we’ve heard him say anything nice about anyone), or her impressive five year plan for the company, or the off-screen behavior of her obviously unsuitable brother that has yet to make an appearance on the show (start your casting predictions now), or maybe it was just how annoyingly distracting Margaux’s giant earrings were this week, but Pascal finally caved and declared his daughter his successor. Sadly, Pascal also prematurely announced his retirement, leaving Conrad to swoop in and snap up a contract with a huge South American party from under Pascal’s nose. Oops? Blood in the water, Pascal. Blood in the water.

(ABC/Richard Cartwright)
EMILY VANCAMP

We interrupt this recap for some important Hamptons Shipping News: Jack and Margaux cracks? Emily and Aiden back on! Everyone reminding Jack how close he and Emily are. Is something supposed to be gradually dawning on him? Ok. Let’s move on.

In a one-step-closer-to-the-end move Charlotte stumbled onto some pertinent information about Jack and Nolan’s secret Emily club, including the fact that just episodes ago Jack took a job as an undercover spy and stole some important tapes with the help of Nolan’s on-again-off-again business partner Javier. But does she realize just how important her discovery is, and what will she do with it?

Revenge is moving its characters into their final positions for its third finale on May 11.

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